Ah... I wanted to be famous, I wanted to be someone... I remember the 30s days of mine when I had done blogging. But I had written harmful articles which had criticized other people. I just wanted to become an opinion leader. I also wrote horny articles. What did I misunderstand? Exactly, I want to be read by many readers. I can't stand being ignored by others. I have to admit it. But the important is the fact I am supported by true great readers who I can trust. They say who I am. I shouldn't forget that fact.
Inspired by Eric Hoffer, I want to read Montaigne'S "Essays" which he had read with a strong passion. Once I tried to read completely them. The "essays" we write about the movement of thoughts are called from this book "Essays". In other words, "Essays" is the father of us, the essayists. Nowadays I just read this kind of old good book. At last, I bought Hoffer's book "Working and Thinking on the Waterfront". WIll bonus money be given to me?
I've watched Ben Wheatley's movie "High-Rise". I thought this was the primal power of Great Britain. The social class already exists and therefore working-class people should try to become millionaires like rock stars, or they should accept the life of poor people. Their spirit of satire gave me a strong impression. In Japan, we are also living in a class society. I should live the life of a poor man and try not to die alone as a homeless person. It's a pity. Great movies ease the sad mind like this.
When I had started a habit of watching movies, I had got into the movie "Ping Pong". That movie was from the manga which describes high school students' youth who play ping pong. The scene in which characters talk about the meaning of superheroes. I also have anxiety and want to run away when I start my work. But if I start it, the superhero in myself does my work with me. This journal is also a thing like that. I don't have any ideas to write, but my fingers move automatically.