BGM: 桑田佳祐 - 漫画ドリーム
It will be a day off tomorrow, so I will go to see my doctor about my autism, insomnia, etc. After that, I will go to the temple near my home to see a friend. I want to confess various personal secrets of mine. TBH, I have never been in love (although I have had a certain emotion which can be called as love - at least I think so). And this personal problem might have brought this distorted character in me. I have been soaked into various destructive things. For example, internet [censored].
As a heterosexual person, I basically/actually need the women - I have to accept this fact. In myself, there must be a certain beast. Yes, A BEAST which causes my strong/awful desire which lets me move to do silly behaviors. I want to tell this issue to the friend I have written above.
Today I worked early. Although it is prohibited, I tried to write my memo during my work because it afforded a certain comfortable feeling to me (and also, it is really easy for me to forget various things. Maybe it is because I am already a 48 years old dude). But today I wrote too much so a co-worked scolded me about that. Oh my! I need to get used to this situation.
After today's work, I went back to my group home. I met a person as a meeting on Discord to join her group. She asked me about one of my favorite authors, Haruki Murakami. I answered that Haruki has been one of the great ones who tries to find out how we should survive this difficult world. He has three faces. A novelist, an essayist, a translator. But in my opinion, through those three activities he has been trying to explode the one mission. Trying to observe the outer world, and also keep on questioning his inner voice. He is writing his works from that junction point (connecting the outer voice and inner voice).
That style/manner of Haruki is also the one I have wanted to follow. I adored him, and even tried to be like him. Now, I wish I could get closer to his awesome stage as a writer.