BGM: Pizzicato Five - 誘惑について
Today I worked late, and this morning I finished reading the rest of Ryu Murakami's "MISSING". I felt that Ryu has been trying to "crush" himself completely. I won't say this novel is a great entertainment achievement. At least, he has written a lot of masterpieces better than this "MISSING". But I guess that it's a marvelous achievement as his self-portrait or autobiography-like fiction. It is really an interesting, and brave trial.
In this novel, he (maybe Ryu, the author himself) keeps on asking who he has been by recalling his memories. From his childhood, his youthful days, and debut... but it doesn't have any sweet self-love touch. A kind of bitter, masochistic trial. I feel he is really a diligent, strong person with his courage.
He keeps on doing various dialogue/conversation with himself in this novel. He tries to "destruct" his sweet self-love by asking various questions to himself... so often the main plot goes to somewhere. The dialogue in himself has only been repeated strictly. It gives me a certain courage for me to write my own truth as a kind of novel. Yes... probably this is his true power/potentiality.
After reading "MISSING", I started enjoying reading his masterpiece "69". It certainly reminds me of my youthful days. Although my days were not like his, I feel great sweetness and nostalgia from his sensitive, sweet writing. This novel also provides me great, huge encouraging to do something creative. "You can change the scenery you have already gotten bored enough"... This message from this "69" stays in myself.
I think of writing a novel about my work, but it must have a touchy, even dangerous content. I have to write about my work in detail. For example (I am really worrying about your mental pollution), I want to write about the shape of my co-worker's great body figure, and also their kindness (Oh, how masochistic I am!). I already started writing it on Discord as graffiti. Are you interested in?
