BGM: Mr. Children - ニシエヒガシエ
It has passed about 8 years since I started recording how I read books on the site "bookmeter". Looking back at the past record, I feel that I am really weird or "ill". Through these 8 years, the site tells me that I have read 1340 books by today (Indeed, I counted as they are two books if I read the same book twice). As you know, I am not Umberto Eco. So I can never reach the stage of any intellectual, or I might have to say that reading books for me is totally a waste of time. While I read books and spent my time in vain, Ryuichi Sakamoto would do the practice of moving fingers. Sorry, I hurt myself too much, but all I can say is reading is not any beautiful activity as growing up or enlightenment. It is just killing boredom, and, if I choose the paradoxical expression, "that's the goodness!" is my opinion.
I remember Chuck Palahniuk's "Fight Club", Bret Easton Ellis's "American Psycho", and Haruki Murakami's "After dark" and think that I am "broken" (and I also want to introduce a Japanese great author Ryu Murakami). Therefore, I read so many books, listen to music a lot, and learn English. These novels by Palahniuk and Ellis tell me that "I would have to be broken if I wanted to live as a normal man". Other "broken" essences in me...masochistic, alcohol addicted, having a strong obsession, etc. For example, I always carry at least three books because they make me calm. That is really troublesome to go out of my room. Ah, this kind of topic would become "being proud of unhappiness" or "coming out world cup" so I have to stay calm, but at least, I am a freak. Probably, if we did a grand prix of bookworm in Shiso city, I would get any prize.
The facility manager tried a lot and enabled the Wi-Fi equipment to connect to the internet again. I felt thankful for that and read Teju Cole's "Open City" with The Byrds and Buffalo Springfield's music. I could remind of the word "actual". He writes honestly and straightly as a minority writer (he is an African American) about the weird real world about racism and politics. His brave attitude of writing these things made me respect him certainly (he also writes about 911 itself and his thoughts in an extrovert way). As I wrote before, this novel reminds me of Sebald's "Austerlitz". It would become this novel if we add the issue of human race in "Austerlitz" I guess, therefore it tastes like an intelligent and brilliant one.
A friend of mine, an ex-hikikomori person, was offered from the city because he is trying to support other hikikomori people and their family. I always respect him, so it is great news for me. I remember that once I learned about hikikomori by Tamaki Saitou's book when I just graduated from my university. At that period, I had never learned the fact that I am autistic, and I was treated as a useless person at my workplace. I also remember that I was a heavy drinker. After that, I met him and my current friends (from the meeting of autism, the "danshu" meeting, Shiso International Association)... Oh my, I am still single and living this life as a gypsy with books and music, but also I might live the wandering and wonderful life. Wandering days from here to there, I have lived with Haruki Murakami and Yoshio Kataoka's books as my bible. It is like a traveler relies on Polaris to check where they are. I live on this life with U2 and Mr. Children's new releases.
