BGM: KIRINJI - 再会
Today is the Tanabata day. We make wishes for stars as an important event today so I wrote this year as "I wanna be a bridge". "A bridge"... Like the one which connects between this town and the world. This world is getting more internationalized/globalized so we can find many foreigners in this town. I wish I could help several communications between those foreigners and the native Japanese residents in this town... For example, when they buy something in supermarkets. Or when they try to throw their rubbish/garbage away... Of course, the translation tools are getting developed so the wall of languages is vanishing. But, what if I could solve the problems those tools can't solve? I want to be a "bridge person" who works as a translator/interpreter... Indeed, this must sound a huge delusion/daydream. It is too big to realize. People might say that "Work as a bridge if it were possible!". You are right. I can't see how I can realize that. It must be impossible... But I am OK even though I have to live as a poor person with the current job. With that work, I want to keep on learning English and working as a translator as a volunteer. That is the meaning of working as a "bridge" for me.
Suddenly I thought I wanted to confess that dream to my parents. About that I asked how I should do to my "mentor". Because it is really a big, big dream. Too big to realize. How could I do that dream as my job? How could it become as a lifework of mine? I couldn't see at all... Then, that mentor sent me an answer. "Please tell your dream directly/straightly to your parents. Good luck!". Ah... I was so impressed. Once I thought I could be a vicious, terrible son for them. Indeed, I graduated Waseda but it could cost so much. After that period, I just spent my days as a heavy drinker. I couldn't do anything for them. Just I made them cry a lot... A terrible, shameful son for them I guess. I hated myself too. "I should not be in this world" and "There must be no reason or worth why I have to live". Those ideas also made me drink so much... I just lived my life automatically to death. But now, I have a dream. I want to be a bridge!
However today I was exhausted because of my late shift work so I couldn't tell this to my parents on LINE. I want to tell someday... I say this as a clear fact. I couldn't find this dream by myself. At least, I believe so. Through various "collaborations" with my friends, I could have found this dream. Now, I have been connected with a lot of friends via several connections. For example, the "danshu" meeting, the meeting about autism, our server on Discord, etc... At those place, I met a lot of wonderful people, and learned precious things from them. We have "trained" and embraced each other. I have had a lot of disciplines, and that enabled me having this spontaneous dream. Now I can see that a keyword "bridge" drives me to move forward. It has fallen inside my soul... As a clear fact, I am just a sissy wack. A tiny crybaby in Japan. But these connections/commitments has grown this dream up. It has been becoming bigger. C'est la vie.
Today is Tanabata. The day that Orimihe and Hikoboshi meet again so I chose Kirinji's "再会" as today's song. "再会" means "meeting/seeing again" so I remember the movies and novels which describe various "reunion". For example, how about Takeshi Kitano's movie "Kids Return"? In that movie, an ex-boxer boy meets an ex-yakuza boy. It makes them start their new life... "Meeting" or "encountering" enables us to start new events in our lives. Me, that day, that meeting was a real turning point because that was the beginning of this relationship between that mentor and her daughter. That was exactly the beginning of "this wonderful life. What if I couldn't meet them? The mentor praised my English, and also introduced the meeting of this city's international association. I started English again in the class that association held. After that, I started expressing myself/my life in English... A great, brand new life. I remember that movie's truth. "It has not been the beginning yet". My life is also "starting" from now. I know... I can't achieve any big thing because I am already 48. But I won't stop.