BGM: Motoharu Sano - COME SHINING
Today I worked late. This morning I enjoyed Koutarou Sawaki's "Koutarou Sawaki sessions: Words of Youth" with Ryuichi Sakamoto's "Thousand Knives". I am not a pro critic of music so can't talk about his music deeply, but Sakamoto's music delivers a certain oriental essence to me. Our society is becoming global, and I can communicate intimately with foreign friends on Discord. I have a secret ambition, which is that I want to introduce Japanese books and music to foreign readers through this diary. Or, through chatting with them in English, I want to let them know how great the Japanese art can be. I never think that our culture is poor. I can see that it is different from European and American culture, but it won't mean that which is absolutely sublime. I want to say that we have other great authors besides Haruki Murakami.
On Twitter, I posted a tweet to show respect to Ryuichi Sakamoto. I have understood that this day would come. Everyone's life has their end. But, through this losing of supporting my life, it hurts me certainly. We lost Shinji Aoyama, Kenzaburo Oe... how will this world be after 10 years? I can't predict the future. I never have a skill to see our future's vision, but just live dutifully to the current state. Probably, although 10 years later, I will read Haruki Murakami and write this diary. Reading Haruki Murakami and writing this diary is becoming a lifework of me. I would trust the compass which doesn't change easily in me. I would live with Yosui Inoue and Kicell even if 10 years pass. How will I be able to go forward than the current place? Or backward?
In that Koutarou Sawaki's "Words of Youth", a phrase "passion in the life like garbage". It says that being someone who did great work is brilliant, but being the person who did something like garbage. Yes, our life might be like garbage. But even if life can be so, the person who did ridiculous things is marvelous... Me, writing this diary is a kind of "ridiculous" things. No one had asked me to do this, but I want to record my everyday life, and also share with my friends. It will reach for 2 years. Besides that, I write my notes in English... I remember that drinking alcohol must bring me an extreme pleasure. Now I deny that. I believe that doing what I want can be a pleasure. Yes, even if it can be like garbage.
I had never thought of any big idea with the beginning of this diary. I just wanted to share my days with a lot of friends in the world. So this can be "my love letters". Never being public, but just a private secret activity. Then, the readers of this diary might be the ones like me, who once had huge loneliness or anxiety. I have something pessimistic or melancholic in my root, so believe that our life is basically sad. We have to break up at the end. Hello and good-bye, that can be our life. Or, in short, life can be nonsense. But even if the fact is so, I enjoy Ryuichi Sakamoto against forgetting him, or wait for Haruki Murakami's new novel even though reading him might mean a waste of time for me.
"You often said this. The end is the beginning" (Motoharu Sano "Begin from Good-bye")
