BGM: RHYMESTER - ウィークエンド・シャッフル
Today I worked early. This morning I got nervous and also had an anxiety as usual. I thought that even the athletes could get nervous, and also thought about this life. I have never wanted to do this work since I began. I just had to earn money, but I have worked for over 20 years. I remember, maybe it was Haruki Murakami who wrote that we might have to have the period of using the muscle we usually don't use. I never think this work suits me, but I have been trained by keeping on working for that long time. It's life... I chose Rhymester's "Life Goes On" and "ウィークエンド・シャッフル". I was cured by this song's cheerful mood. Yes, it's the weekend so I want to enjoy.
This afternoon a friend of mine gave me the pics of Sakura. I heard that this season Sakura has been blooming earlier than usual years. It means that the season of Sakura would end sooner than usual. I heard that our prime minister Kishida had said wearing masks depends on every person's judgement, but me, I already got used to wear them so it's difficult to wear off. I don't like watching Sakura as I wrote before, but in this year I want to read Motojiro Kajii's short novels under those Sakura trees. We talked about those Sakura, and I remembered that this kind of friendship would end as "the flower of season" like Shichiro Fukazawa says. Once I couldn't enjoy friendship longer because we always broke up with struggles, so this long friendship is really a miracle. I remember that "saying goodbye is the core of life" as a Japanese quote.
Another friend and I talked for a while on WhatsApp. I had learned that an English movie director Ken Loach had started making his movie, so I told about that to him. I can't say that I like Ken Loach easily. I always got a certain heavy punch from his movies so it can't be enjoyed as fashionable ones. Ken Loach gets anger about the irrational situation of our society and makes his ones of it. In other words, the situation Ken Loach must work so hard means the one our society gets worse. It is really sad for me. I can't enjoy his movies as Clint Eastwood's ones or Godard's ones (of course, we already had lost Godard). That is the reason Ken Loach is one and only. But is it a happy scene for Ken Loach?
This evening I made a draft for tomorrow's meeting. And I had the time so read Shigeo Goto and Ryuichi Sakamoto's "skmt Who is Ryuichi Sakamoto". Sakamoto is really an enigma. I can't see if there is a strong ego in himself. He never believes that the "core of passion to express something", but always tries to get attracted from something outside of him, and adapt that things to start his music. This means he has a big and primal emptiness. He choose amorphous and therefore hates making words from his thoughts. He basically tries to be free, so not giving himself any shape. Yes, it must be childlike. But I also accept that it is the evidence of his honest attitude. I have a sympathy with him because I am also said that I am empty. Or I am just a snob person.