BGM: Matthew Sweet - Smog Moon
Today I worked late. This morning I read Robert Harris's "Theory of Happiness from An Outsider" again, and thought that who I respect in this life. Robert Harris says in this book that you should be yourself even if you have to respect someone. Yes, I agree with him. Me, Once I adored Haruki Murakami, Osamu Hashimoto, Shinji Miyadai as I always write in this diary. I won't hide the fact how I have been influenced by them. My way of thoughts has been also made by a Japanese essayiest Itaru Mita, and a columnist Kouichi Yamazaki. They write about different fields in their writings, but the base of their thinking is the same I guess. Beyond the division of the left and the right, or liberal and conservative. They challenge their missions in their ways, so I respect them.
Me, As I wrote this diary a lot passionately, I walked the road with no certain maps. In that life, Haruki Murakami is the person I adored the most because he tries not to commit narrow Japanese communities of main literature, but he chases his highness seriously. I also remember that I have learned by Osamu Hashimoto because he told me "keep on thinking by your head and body". This lesson is still actual in me and it has supported my life a lot. I want to be a stray cat, but I won't hide that I have been empowered by these people who walk in front of me. I also respect my friends who enjoy and share our lives, and the members of the meeting about autism. I respect them, and go my way.
After that Robert Harris's book, I started reading Teju Cole's "Open City". I was attracted by this book from the comment that says it reminds us of Sebald's works. Certainly, reading little by little, I thought that this book should be great. Referring to various political topics, he writes the real figure of living this world as a minority bravely. Indeed, that braveness is the same as Sebald's works, or I also remembered Walter Benjamin's essays because of his lyrical style. I like Sebald and Benjamon, so I have been embarrasesd by the fact I have never learned until now. Yes, he is quite an intelligent walker (I remember a French word "Flaneur"). He walks a lot, catches various things with his eyes, and thinks so deeply. I have this book's English version as a paperback so want to try reading it after the Japanese version.
I have worked this day without any accident. At break time, I enjoyed Lou Reed and Nick Cave to keep my mind neutral. What is work? Once, it was a way to feed myself completely, therefore I did my tasks without any heart. Indeed, even now I work for "feeding myself". But I also feel that the work has been training myself well. If I could stay in my home without any working every day until I die, I would become insane. Ah, Once I thought that "why do I work?" and "what do I live for?". Now I think that it would be a waste of time to think about these questions. For example, I would pick a trash up and throw it into a dustbin. I also would work at the part no one did their work completely. That instinct which has been inputted in me controls me to move on, let me work more, and do my daily life. That's OK, isn't that? After the work, I enjoyed Rhymester's album "Heat Island" to praise my work by myself.
