I thought about the reason why have I been attracted by Wittgenstein's philosophy. I should be attracted by any more useful philosophies... I understand that Wittgenstein's philosophy won't earn money. It even can't be a tool or life hack to live in this world. But the philosophy he had thought and evolved certainly eases me. Today I read Hiroshi Ohtani's book about Wittgenstein and had the impression that his philosophy must be dangerous and attractive. I want to read his philosophy more.
There is no rule about how to live correctly. So my life might be treated as a possible one. Although I am single and poor, but I live my life freely so I started thinking this is one great life. I feel that happiness is the fact I can say yes to myself. Maybe the people in my company say that my life must have already ended, but I can feel intimacy in my life. So I will keep on living this life.
I remember that a character in the manga "Fist of the North Star" says that "My life has no regret". Do I think that I would die with any regrets? I don't think so. I want to live more, but I have no incomplete things left. Of course, if I could, I would pray for becoming bigger. I want to develop the works of English with my skill. But now, I am already satisfied with my life enough. Probably this is just a "giving up" because I have gotten used to living this poor life, therefore I can have no desire.
The reason why I am feeling happily like this is just the fact that I don't need to tell lies. I don't have to show myself bigger than the real, and also don't have to say beautiful things. I am just satisfied with natural myself and don't feel any hesitation to live in this world as me. Ah, the lifestyle which has no lies as content can be really stress-free and fine. Have I found this life as the result of my quest? Have I been led by a force beyond our imagination? I can't see which...