BGM: 小沢健二 "ある光"
Today I worked early. I have recently not watched any movies but think I should watch something again. This might be different from its proper season, but Takeshi Kitano's "Kikujiro" or "Kid's Return" might be good as the next movie I will watch. Once I didn't like Kitano's movies (I just watched them because critics praised his films), but now I might be able to watch them for a modest reason. Life can have some troublesome events, but it must have value to live through... The mild positivity as "Here we go!". They have such positivity even if this is just my opinion.
Once I attended the 'danshu' meeting, we did a discussion about what could be happiness. We talked about Kazuhiro Kiyohara, a really famous Japanese baseball player, who caused a problem with drugs because of sickness in his life although he was a great hero. I can remember Ernest Hemingway. Hemingway became a worldwide author in our age but he ended his life by suicide. Yes, I am just an ordinary person so I can't understand such genius people's problems. Thinking about them might be too presumptuous... as I am writing this, I remember Eric Clapton. Clapton is also a person who lived his life with huge struggles and overcame them.
The people who were gifted, and also had chances to show their gifts. They became superheroes. But these gifts also controlled their lives and let them feel sick. These might not be able to be said as happy lives. But they faced their problems and lived with effort (I understand that Hemingway was also so earnest that he tried to live his life with patience). These attitudes give their life deep essences and also impress me. I have just a tiny personality. Yes, I am a very, very cheap person. So I want to follow their lives.
I am listening to Eric Clapton's "Unplugged". When I was young, I couldn't understand what this album can contain as charms. I just thought that this album was really flaccid, and lazy. What a terrible misunderstanding! Indeed, this album has a relaxed mood, but also it has an exact 'deliciousness'. I once liked hard, heavy music and spent my days thinking about various things too seriously. Now I like this kind of 'mild' art. Is it just because I have grown up? If so, I could be happy. With this album, I want to try to read Hemingway and Dickens at the beginning of autumn in 2002.