BGM: Kaseki Cider "さいだぁぶるーす"
Today I worked early. This morning, while preparing for the work, Bruce Springsteen's song "Street of Philadelphia" made me cry a little. Tomorrow we will have an important meeting finally. We have arrived here... that made me glad enough. I can remember that we had a lot of trouble. I have never thought that I could have done this work until now. I even did an overdose. I met a person and she told me about the system of job coaches. Yes, it was fatal. We have tried a lot in my workplace... the dream will come true. We have done a very great job.
I can't say this publicly, but I heard that a person had been affected by corona at my workplace. Corona is coming exactly. Yesterday, when I felt I had been affected by it, I said to myself that "If I got down here, then what could be left?". I can remember. Life goes on. I want to do more. Ah, this emotion is coming from me... Once I was very negative and looked backward. I had drunk a lot with Nine Inch Nails. I have changed exactly and clearly from that period.
After work, I went to the library as usual. I noticed that there was a corner that was dedicated to Hisao Nakai, and it told me Nakai had passed away. I had learned about Nakai from a 'teacher' at the 'danshu' meeting. I read his book about being bullied at schools, and it impressed me well because his writings were very soft and smart, but never wishy-washy. This must be from an intelligence, I felt so. I have to think about things softly, and completely like him. Even if I can't reach his stage... R.I.P. I will read his books again.
Writing my journal makes me think that every ordinary day contains various possibilities of happening interesting things. Therefore I have to live every single day preciously. From every day, every time, life can be begun. What did Paul McCartney think when he got the idea of the evergreen song "Yesterday"? Ordinary days can produce various evergreen masterpieces, and new things happen endlessly. That makes me happy. Already, something interesting might have happened somewhere. This journal can be the beginning of that kind of interesting thing.
