2022/07/29 English

I worked late. This morning I read Yoshio Kataoka's "Life of the languages" again. There are many books that criticize the language Japanese. Of course, some of them are really masterpieces. But I thought that Yoshio Kataoka does a different approach from them. He tries to think about the Japanese that went through the filter of Kataoka himself. Thinking about the weird expressions he met, or the phrases he got interested in. Of course, this work must need the trust of his senses. I am impressed by his keen senses. I want to think about the Japanese and English around the world that express sensitive things.

This book tries to ask the question "The Japanese language is illogical or not?". I am a person who lives inside the Japanese language, therefore I think that we can do logical work in Japanese (as I always say). If you thought that Japanese was illogical, that would come from the tolerance of Japanese that swallows foreign language freely. It swallows very, very freely... But I need to think about this again. I want to read Minae Mizumura's "When the Japanese language perishes", which once became a best seller., and think about this more and more.

After that, I read the book "From Akihabara". I am interested in the word by Tomohiro Kato, the criminal of the Akihabara massacre. That is "I would kill anyone". This word might be the same as the one "Help me (anyone is OK)" or "I wanna die (anyone helps me)" basically. I can't ignore the attitude "Anyone is OK", because this attitude says that he/she sees the world as something very flat. Indeed, I read the word "I wanna die" many times. I even said that openly. Then, once I also thought that this world was very flat. This might help me think about Kato.

Ah, once I thought I wanted to die, and I even tried to do so... a shameful memory. I even read "Man’s Search For Meaning" by V. E. Frankl. The only wish I had was I would be a writer and become bigger than anyone else, and change my life. Yes, I was a fool. About 10 years had passed. I might have to read Herman Hesse or Frankl again. How long I could walk forward to this state? I need to think about that...