犬は吠えるがキャラバンは進む

The Dogs Bark, But The Caravan Moves On.

2022/07/26 English

BGM: Bruce Springsteen "Born In The U.S.A."

I worked early today. I heard that the criminal of the Akihabara massacre Tomohiro Kato had passed away by the 'execution'. It shocked me a little. I can say that I have lived in a situation that is similar to Kato so I feel a certain sympathy. Of course, I never forgive his massacre. It must be terrible and I won't forgive him. Or I have to think like this. If I said about the sympathy in myself carefully, it would damage the family of the victims exactly. Therefore I lose my words.

About the 'death penalty', I choose the attitude of 'agreeing negatively'. The 'death penalty' can be bad because it takes the chances of the criminal's possibility of living on and compensating for their sin away. But I also have to think about the problem of caring for the victim's family's damaged mind that would feel a certain outrageousness for the fact that the criminal is still alive. If the criminal owed their 'death penalty' and the family got saved by it, I couldn't say that should be infantile or naive. If I heard "the criminal like Kato must be punished as the 'death penalty' and that would save me", how I could face that state of mind? I lose my words there. So I choose the attitude of 'agreeing negatively'.

Indeed, I had been bullied by classmates. After that, I couldn't get any fine jobs therefore once I had to live with a wave of huge anger in my mind like the main character of Bruce Springsteen's "Born In The U.S.A.". I even think about why I didn't become the person who would do a violent action with a knife at Aeon in my town. It must be strange but I guess that was because I was the person who could ease my anger with Kenzaburo Oe's and Kenji Nakagami's literature. Or maybe that was because I could grow up with terrible mistakes and shames with the people I could trust. Yes, I must be a happy... or lucky person. I want to read some non-fiction books about Kato and think about this issue.

At night, I went to the English conversation class. Today's topic was 'how do we Japanese people enjoy summer days?'. Shiso city has no amusement parks. It is very countryside so you can't use Uber Sweets. But you can swim in the rivers in the city and go to forests to get stag beetles. You also can go fishing. Once I would be disappointed because of this too rural situation and must drink a lot of alcohol with a wave of huge anger. Now I can feel a connection with the students who enjoy learning English. The connection would grow us up and ease our minds. Yes, it must be true because my life itself must be the evidence for me.