2022/07/08 English

Today was a day off. This morning I noticed that Judith had opened her room on Clubhouse so I attended there. In that room, I met a blind pianist from Thailand so I greeted her. I said, "I wrote my journal in my profile so read it if you like" and I noticed her handicap, so I felt embarrassed. I should care for her handicap... Judith explained to her that I am an autistic person, and talked cheerfully as usual. I enjoyed our talking and checked her Facebook page. This was the morning time.

In the afternoon, I heard that Shinzo Abe had been shot. I had my lunch and waited for the next news. Indeed, I couldn't see what I should be because there was a lot of information, so I tried to control my emotion properly. I remembered that a Japanese writer and intellectual Natsuki Ikezawa had written his opinions about the Great East Japan Earthquake with the attitude of 'never blame' and 'never agitate', so I followed him and criticized every piece of information. I had the time so went to vote. I might think that I should be far away from the internet in this situation.

Afternoon, I read Michael Graziano's "Rethinking Consciousness". As the title says, this book tells about how could our consciousness be born in this world with various pieces of knowledge as its base. It can be too difficult to explain, but he does it in his gentle way as a showman so I was impressed. With various information about the biology and also interesting thinking experiment like great science fiction, he even tells us how our future would be with his gentle style. But I couldn't enjoy that he also tells what the 'duplicate of consciousness' and 'uploading it' would be. Maybe because I still have a narrow point of view.

That night, I felt too much. On the internet, there were a lot of pieces of Shinzo Abe everywhere I went. It was like the scene where hell appeared in this world. But, as Yasuharu Konishi says quoting Kenichi Yoshida, all I can do is to build my daily life steadily and to do what I should do. I won't surrender the terror. And also I would never be like an armchair detective, who thinks they can see everything even if they are just sitting in front of their computers. I attended June Lovejoy, a porn actress from America. Her calm voice eased me (but we never enjoyed any lewd topics!). The long day ended like this.