2022/06/07 English

Today was a day off. In the morning I joined the room Judith had opened on Clubhouse and talked a little. I talked about I had been reading Hiromi Shimada's "Aum", but I might not be able to tell what I wanted to say. Judith might think that "Why do you want to think about the things in such an old period as 1995?". But "Aum" tells me various things more than I had expected. He discussed Haruki Murakami, who had touched on Aum incidents and changed his world drastically. He tried to express this topic in one chapter. I am a 'harukist' (the person who believes in 'Murakami-ism'). So I read that chapter with a strong interest.

TBH the book I have read the most might be Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood". It was exactly a bible for me when I was a high school student. But I can't tell why I had been into his world. But in his world, 'I' have a certain feeling of wrongness toward the outside world. 'I' keep a distance from it and enjoy romance with some girls/women. That kind of loneliness or miscommunication had attracted me I guess. 'I', the outside world, and girls/women. This threesome can tell me how his world has been created.

In Hiromi Shimada's analysis, in the 80s Japan had been moved dramatically by a 'bubble economy. It was really a panic. It was quite a period of 'money game' and also materialism. When I became an adult, that panic had finished. I can see that people in the 90s could find nothing to believe and therefore had been depressed, and some people tried to become the Aum believers. That is acceptable to me, but all I believed in was Haruki Murakami's novel instead of Aum. My/our life hasn't shown any growth, and at last, I/we lived such a period as a 'lost generation'...

The English conversation class which the international association in our city has started. I attended it. I met various people. The two ALT teachers spoke very clear English so I was impressed because it showed their certain experiences as teachers. I confessed that I am an autistic person as usual. I often make 'blank' while we enjoy a conversation. The person next to me talked with a passion to me (even though she used Japanese). So I could be relaxed and enjoy the time. A member said she had an interest in the UK's culture (she was young enough to become my daughter although I was single), so I had a stupid idea of talking to her with "I like Banksy's art and Massive Attack's music!".