Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/01/18 English

Tonight we had a meeting by Shiso international association, at which we enjoyed chatting with the native English teachers and the foreigners who live in Shiso city. We shared the speeches about their mother countries with Chinese and Vietnamese people and did small talk about various topics at the tables in English and Japanese (of course, we cared about corona). It's interesting that topics come from Japanese original culture, for example, mochi and kotatsu. I talked "I have an adore about New York because of Lou Reed's music". I have never been to foreign countries...

I thought about the topic for tomorrow's meeting. I googled about the student who attacked three people at Tokyo university. He was said as a smart student. I remember my youthful days... although this might not be related with, I'm thinking about the slang "Oya gacya (it might be "Parents roulette" if I try to translate into English")". "Oya gacya" means that "We can't choose my parents. It's like the gacya (Japanese lottery?). It's just up to luck. So the parent who has brought you decides your life absolutely". Of course, we can laugh at this as bullshit. But the problem is, for me, that this slang is attractive for young people because they have no hopes.

I can't laugh at this word. Because once I blamed my parents because of my autism. Or I should say this more clearly. When I hadn't known my autism, the concept "adult children" got popular in my young days. The children who had been abused by their parents so still have difficulty living, that is the meaning. Learning this concept, I thought that I was also abused by parents therefore I have difficulty. Yes, bullshit. I was raised by my parents' love. I can see this now.

But once I blamed my parents because of that concept. I can remember. Or I searched the reason for this difficulty to the memory of being bullied or autism. This is a kind of "Oya gacha" because I blamed the environment I couldn't have controlled and I felt I was innocent. Meeting with my friends, I started believing that I have a certain power to change myself, and I have a possibility of growing up, and I have confidence in changing myself. I hope I can share this idea in the next meeting.