Back To Life

Back To Reality



Dear Marco Stanley Fogg

Today I went to a library and borrowed two books. The one is Agnès Poirier's book "Left Bank" and the other is "Becket Remembering / Remembering Beckett". The former is one about writers' and artists' youth in Paris during the period of World War II. The latter is one about an author who left amazing harvests as novels and plays. In both Samuel Beckett appears as an important person. I should be embarrassed because I have never read his works. His masterpiece "Waiting For Godot" can be watched/available on YouTube? I have such a sly idea...

At first, I started reading "Left Bank" and I reminded you of the young artists in Paris. You were the person who lived with boxes that contained a lot of books. The boxes were made of cardboard. When you were a student from Colombia university, you used these boxes as a kind of furniture and lived such a poor life. And also I reminded of my young days. When I was a student of Waseda, I had lived in a "single room" apartment for students and lied on its wall and read "Moon Palace" (so I made a big spot on the wall!). And I imagined about your adventure and wandering...

But is youth such a beautiful thing? Yes, even I might envy the young people who might be their 20 because they are so fresh. Now I have a body that is losing various ability and my brain will be so. Now I'm losing my freshness and getting to death... this idea makes me blue. In that way, the young people who can grow up freely might have infinite possibilities. But... such "infinite possibilities" and also the question "Who I am?" is also the thing they have to owe in their life. That means youth, doesn't that? I think so...

Now I am living with autism and creating my life. Autism might be my epitaph. I gave up various things because of this autism. And I threw away extra possibilities and have tried to realize the one I really want to do so. That was the start point of my life. Marco, that was also your truth, wasn't that? You find various important things in the adventure "Moon Palace" describes, and you also must lose important things to go forward. In the last line of "Moon Palace", you found single important truth as you have lost all of your treasure. I can remember that.


disco cat