Back To Life

Back To Reality

A better life

Today I had to work even if it was Christmas Eve. I'm working at a company in the countryside. My past friends asked me why I have worked at that kind of workplace. I can work at any better companies... Maybe they were right. I even don't have to work anymore (I could get welfare if I wanted to get it). But I work because I want to make myself a better person. In other words, working means becoming a better/greater person. I won't say anything about our careers, but just want to talk about our souls' stages.

I won't say that everybody must work in this era. Even I think that I could live a better life if I wouldn't work anymore. Without work, I just read Proust's long long novels and listen to Brian Eno's ambient music. I eat meals when I want to eat, I sleep when I want to do so... and so on. Therefore, my work brings me various difficulties to live freely. Yes, it can hurt me. But I work.

TBH, a friend of mine is an ex-hikikomori. He had a very hard period in his life. Staying in his room and just doing games... Those were not happy memory for him. He had a struggle in his mind. How can I go out of this room... He thought like that but he couldn't. I don't agree with the opinion that someone forces him to go out.

I want to talk about him more. But today, my mind seems messed up so I can't write good sentences. That's sad but alright. Life is so long... sometimes the luck at the time moves my mind. I let myself go with that timely luck and try to write step by step.