Back To Life

Back To Reality

2021/12/01 English

BGM: The Style Council "My Ever Changing Moods"

Finally, I've finished reading John. R. Searle "MiND". Quite an interesting book. This book follows basic topics about mind and brain so we can start talking about various questions as "What is me?" or "What is mind?". Of course, I won't say I could understand everything completely so I should read this again, but the translation is very good so I could enjoy reading it. After this, I went to a library and borrowed various books like Antonio Damasio's. Of course, I shouldn't copy these ideas. I have to think about my original thoughts or questions (but I won't deny reading and learning them steadily).

I read Shiro Yamauchi's "Thinking Without Knowing". This is an essay that contains various quotes which are by Spinoza, Walter Benjamin, and more. This is fun reading. It refers to "Evangelion", "Weathering WIth You", and more but this author shows a true steady approach without snobbism of that kind of pop culture. It tells us how important we live and keep on thinking about the things we can't understand as the world or our life. "The philosophy of mine" can mean declaring my idea and keeping on thinking which stays in my mind? This book lets me think so. I might get a clue to write my novel.

The night I attended the "stop-drinking-alcohol" meeting. I felt anxious if it would snow but it didn't (so I got well). I talked about my mistake with a time card. At this meeting, I am praised but I should become an outsider in my company the next day. This gap makes me sick. Today a member said, "Because of this addiction, of this illness, I and my husband can feel happiness". This comment left me something impressive. I am also an addicted person so can't enjoy alcohol. It must be sad but this sadness is the key to feeling my happiness. Is this the relationship of "trading off"?

December comes at last. This year will end soon. What is this year's harvest for me? I am not good at seeing far away from now so I can't remember what I did before half a year. But I was into Yoshio Kataoka's books and started reading books about the brain and mind like this... The idea of using job supporters at my company came from visiting the group about autism in this town. That was just an "attack" visiting because I found the information of the place on the internet and had no idea about it. Always, I do various things without thinking deeply. This style of my life would last like this. As R.E.M. sings, "Sweetness Follows"...