I have been writing my journal on Facebook for over half a year. I rarely read my past journal, but I found the fact that my mind must be so scattered if I read my past days randomly. That makes me sick... I sometimes get into the books of the science of the human mind, or sometimes into Yoshikichi Furui's books... This says I can never become any professor who needs to increase special knowledge step by step strictly. Autism is quite a mystery because it might be known as the strictness of something or seriousness. Or workaholics might be one of its characters. But this kind of scattered mind can be the one.
Today I read Yoshikichi Furui's "Karioujyouden Shibun". I read this book not seriously with patience. I once got bored of this book and threw it away, but today I picked the book and tried to read it and found it was readable, so I read it through the end. What a scattered mind. From the site "bookmeter", I learned that I have read this book eight times. But my reading is such a rough style so I can't be proud of it. After reading it, I wanted to read Fernando Pessoa's "The Book Of Disquiet" and I started to do so. But God only knows by when I can keep on doing that.
What is reading? I think this. This rough reading says that I can't say that my reading is for the knowledge I want to learn or the mind of getting myself educated well. Anyway, those kinds of serious reasons are not for that. I have stopped drinking alcohol when I was 40, so living sober is hard for me. Curing that hardship, I try to read books. I open any book's random page and read the letters. If it goes well, my mind goes into them and I can forget time. I can get into that book. That kind of "liquidation" of my mind. That is the stage I always want, so I read books. What a terrible reading! I should be ashamed.
Nowadays I read books like that. I am not interested in best sellers or newly published ones. Just the ones by Yoshikichi Furui, Fernando Pessoa, and Susumu Sogo. I can't see how I want to be, or how I want to do. Just I read books to liquidize my mind. Because of those a lot of reading, I try to write articles like this as I want. Today, I read "Karioujyouden Shibun" so I wrote this. I can never write this every day, so I try to do it with an easy mind.