Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/03/23 English

I learned about my third vaccination schedule exactly. I remember that our corona disease has been lasting for about two years, and also thought about I had believed that "why are people afraid of corona? Influenza must be more effective than corona" strictly. Yes, I was a fool, but at that period I had heard a lot of 'real' information from my friends all over the world so I reflected my foolish view. It's good that I have learned English. By the next vaccination, what kind of side effects would cause to me? I have not been affected seriously by these two vaccination.

I read Yoshikichi Furui's "Karioujyouden Shibun" again. Ah, I have read this book several times for a long time. When I was young, I believed that I could never read this kind of difficult book. From this reading, I thought about the same point as Yoshikichi Furui and Tarkovsky's movies. Both are the creators who show the real figure of this world beyond our human's tiny view of life and death. So they are similar to J.G.Ballard I guess. But I have read just Ballard's short novels and essays, so I have to read "The Crystal World".

After that, I read Takayuki Kiyota's "The hardship of life and being men from the stories of ''ordinary men' which are not 'big talks' or ’heroic episodes'". I'm also an 'ordinary man' so felt sympathy with straight and direct opening themselves from the men of this book. They have been treated by 'men'. 'Men'. They wished that they could be alive as strong people in the school (or I might be able to say that the system of the schools let them be alive bravely). They also have been driven by the desire of becoming bigger. This book is full of those men's sad stories.

It's important that this book tells us 'being' is more important than 'doing'. Referring to Shinji Miyadai, I try to say this. It's not important that the profile that 'what kind of companies do we belong to and what job do we do (this must be relying on the outside establishment)', but that naked ourselves of 'what kind of the people we are (this is from self-esteem inside ourselves which has been built naturally)'. I also can feel that I have gotten easier if I had accepted the fact that I am an autistic, weak person as a naked myself. Or the reason why I started speaking English and found that I can speak freely, and radically. That brought me certain self-esteem.