Back To Life

Back To Reality

2021/10/30 English

My work is made of physical essence. Even in this cold season, I move my body for work and then I feel the heat from that moving. Today my body got warm again as usual. This heat is the thing that gives me the true feeling of my work. This might sound a banal thing, but my body doesn't get warm if I sat in my room and read books or face my computer. Just they bring me the heat of my brain. If I move my body, it gets hot. This relationship brings me a certain heat and gives me the reality of my work.

Before my work, my feeling or thinking gets nervous. I think I can do nothing if I do failure. When I get into my work, tasks come one by one so I can't feel guilty of failure (and I do failures a lot until now!). When the afternoon comes, I forget the failure which I made in the morning. This oblivion might be one of the important skills for me. Of course, I write memos against that oblivion and that's important. But forgetting something important by the flow of time, or letting that flow and oblivion which I can't control forget me naturally also might be important.

I'm writing my journal in English. A reader said that I should read nonfiction in English and get some clues of writing from it. Nonfiction in English... TBH I have some English paperbacks but I have never been able to read them (Yuval Noah Harari "Sapiens" etc). I have to learn from the paperbacks which I bought. How about the articles of Paul Auster? Or reading Max Tegmark's "Life 3.0" might be better to learn and write. This book has a Japanese translated edition.

Besides that journal, I want to write and show my novel so I read Yoshikichi Furui "Shirowada (this title means "white darkness")" for that novel as the trigger. People say Yoshikichi Furui's novel is difficult. His novel has some philosophical essences so you might feel difficult if you haven't got used to it enough. From this reading, I thought about his good ability to listen. Silence, the situation in which the no sounds rule brings him paradoxical noise (you might be able to listen to some sound if the situation is too silent). And he also writes that no sounds lead us to notice (we Japanese call it "satori"). But if I write this to my novel carelessly, I write very difficult or nonsense things. I have to stay careful.