Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/03/26 English

I've watched Yasujiro Ozu's "Tokyo Story" again after a while. I just have watched Ozu's movies a few times, but I had impressed by it and thought that it was great as people said. It made me think about passing time. If time goes by, our life must change. We can't stay at the same point. We grow up and die. Time goes by, everything flows. Watching Ozu is feeling that concept as a Japanese essayist said "The flow of the river never ends, and it can't be the same water".

Thinking about that vanity of impermanence, I also remember the novel I love. Philip Forest's "Sarinagara". The title "Sarinagara" comes from Issa Kobayashi, a Japanese haiku poet. He tries to think about that kind of vanity from Issa's haiku and Souseki Natsume's novels from a French critic and writes it as this novel. Reading about Issa might be also good. Or reading Souseki or Yoshikichi Furui's essays again might not be bad. I feel that I can write a new article by reading them. But I should say that 'I feel I can'. Always I start writing and can't keep on doing it.

But I think it's bad that I read just limited authors' books. I should try to read new authors and get some brand new things. I might have to read Raymond Chandler, Ross Macdonald, or other hard-boiled novel writers. Toshihiko Yahagi or Ryo Hara look interesting from me. I might have to read Susumu Sogo's "Can't live without movies" which I just had read halfway. I believe that reading books is just for killing boredom. But therefore doing differently might work as an interesting activity.

This year I will be 47. My life has what kind of meaning? I sometimes feel I am dumb. I have never been a big business person, and also never left any works which last forever. Just I read many books, watch many movies, and listen to music. That's all and I start thinking that is fine. This journal has been written over 250 days. People sometimes say that I am serious or a hard worker, but I can't agree with these opinions. I had started this for no reason, and the reason why I can keep on doing this is just doing this fits my character. Sometimes some people say that my English is getting better. I can't judge it. I just do this because there is no alternative thing to do for me.