Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/01/20 English

Today we had a meeting about the contract of me at my company. We talked about the way of working in the future. At this time, I talked about my working directly. Or I should say that I could do nothing else. My bosses might look at another world from a macro stage. I see the work from the ground so they are quite different. All I can say are just tiny things. Every day I have trouble with the difficulty of listening to, remembering people's faces, and also troubles of communication with others because of autism... They lose my energy. I talked about these things. The chief also considers the problem that I can't communicate with other people, especially my boss.

The night, I attend a workshop that uses "Easy Japanese" on ZOOM. From the situation of a disaster, we talked about how to tell things easily to others. I said that "using writing is good but how do we draw any pictures to tell foreign people?". This is just an instant idea but they treated this as a precious opinion. That was glad to me. This is the reason why I have learned autism with friends, and also have known the life of foreign people in this city. Other people told us about the Han‐Shin Awaji Earthquake disaster. It told me a lot of things.

After that, I read Issyou Yamamoto's "Hyakken doesn't die yet". This is a biography so I should read the facts only, so it might be a little bit boring but I can see how Hyakken lived his life. He was suffered from a lot of debt, and his novels had not been understood easily, but he lived with awful people like Ryunosuke Akutagawa. I thought I wanted to try "The complete Hyakken Uchida". I want to face Hyakken's works. I reserved his books at a library. It has a certain worth even if I can't read them completely.

After that, I thought I should write something like a novel. But I couldn't. Just read Hyakken's paperbacks and that's all. Nowadays I have never watched any movies, so I think I should do productive things, but all I can do is just "the things I want". That's me. Take it easy. I will spend this year as usual, as reading the books I've already read as Yoshikichi Furui and Hyakken. I can't write any great novel but just write fragments... What kind of things will come from me this year?