BGM: Fatboy Slim - Praise You
Today I worked early. At my workplace, I talked about the fact that I am autistic. The other person said to me "But you do great jobs, so shouldn't care about that!". As you know, basically autism is a really "invisible" handicap. Once I was said that "You seem not like autistic definitely". I accept that as the message "Never mind!", and also it means that person's tenderness for me. But I tend to think by that as "It can be just a problem for them to think lightly, even if I am feeling really heavily"... I might have a twisted mind. I never want to say that "Understand how I am feeling terribly in my daily life" and "You can never see this hardship". I want to say the opposite thing. "It can be just my bias even though I am feeling painful every day". Indeed, because of this autism I have been treated as a heresy, and been bullied at school and my workplace. But now I can see that there can be tender people who say to me "Never mind!". Oh, the time is changing.
Autism is my epitaph... and if I have to face any terrible event and my mind gets hurt, I watch this kind of video to cure my soul. It's the TED Talk by Steve Silberman about the history of autism. About ten years ago, I bought his book "NEUROTRIBES" at a bookstore in Himeji (it had been just translated in Japanese). I read and found it as a really great work (Indeed, some trustable readers blame the translators because there seem a lot of mistakes of translation). I have learned strange and wonderful history of autism. And now, I am reading this "NEUROTRIBES" in English but can't read a lot... Anyway, at today's lunchtime I watched that Silberman's video "The Forgotten History Of Autism" and cried a lot. Silberman explains clearly about how autistic people see this world, and says we should treat their dignity preciously. They shouldn't be heresies or aliens simply. So they should be accepted as our neighbors.
Watching Silberman's video again, I thought the meaning of us (not only autistic people, but human beings themselves). Why do we exist in this world. Autistic people are not strange aliens primary from neurotypical people. They see this world differently. They even see "the things neurotypical people can't see" (though this sounds too much). But we should be careful not to say that "therefore autistic people are greater than neurotypical people". If we said that kind of bullshit opinion, it would make a nonsense struggle by the division between autistic people and neurotypical people. How can we overcome that division? How can we understand and support each other to push this society forward? That's what Silberman wants to declare I guess. Me, I am trying to support my workplace by pointing out the things soon which neurotypical people can't see (for example, I point out typos of various papers). That's the characteristic of mine. I want to be proud of that. How do you think?
This evening, I attended the meeting which was held by a host from Shiso International Association. This time we talk about the garbage problem in Europe, and also the difficulties of depositing garbage in this Shiso city (because of privacy of depositing, and also of the difficulties of dividing proper garbage to throw away). Remembering this... Last year I translated the papers about this problem of garbage into English through this connection of meetings. It was 33 years old when I was said I am autistic, and they said to me that I have high IQ about language working. That characteristic helps me to do this kind of using English as my precious activities. As a clear fact, we can't live alone by ourselves. Helping, and supporting will proceed this world forward. At least, I believe so. Then this kind of meeting is the same one for me. I want to help and participate them by using this skill of language. That's why I have been born in this world... I want to talk about this world, which is organized by users of "neurotypes", by an user of "autism".