Today I thought that I had been over and couldn't do more. Before my work, I was worried about the things that I couldn't sleep well or other little problems so I thought I might not be able to work well. But I also couldn't go back home so I started doing it. Then, at last, I could do my work until the end. Yes, I have experienced this kind of thing but still, I can't trust myself as "If I go, I can and I will". I doubt myself as "This time I can't" or "This time I wouldn't" although many times I could do my work. Why do I think "I can't", and why can it be well done?
About that, this journal is also that kind of thing. I don't have any idea about this journal. I write various ideas in "SNOOPY MY BOOK" but I write this directly basically. Why can I catch the ideas to write? As I wrote yesterday, I can catch the things to say before I speak in English. Why? I can't see... Wittgenstein says he thinks by his pen and I think by using these fingers. I work by this body. Not my head, but my body moves.
I've watched Yuichi Sato's movie "Kisaragi".It's about a movie about Otaku culture or Idol culture. I was reminded of "Reservoir Dogs" at various moments. It's a well-made mystery and also a comedy. The story goes on tightly so I have got excited. I'm glad to watch good movies like this. Why do people meet? It's by fate or chance? This movie even tells us that kind of question. I had sympathy because I sometimes think that the relationship of autism can be by fate or chance.
I thought about the Beatles. Especially the song "Let It Be". I think that this song tells us the importance of giving up things if you can't do them well. Once I couldn't understand this song. I had thought that "We have to do more if we can't do anymore". Now I don't. Throwing my body and let it move as the message of "Let It Be" says. I feel awful if I think that Jon and Paul had understood that kind of truth(no, Ringo and George are also?). Oh, they must be genius!
