Some success stories have the story of "I made a success because I could have the job of my favorite thing". Those people could find the job of their liking things... When I read that kind of story, I think of myself. I can't say that my job is what I like to do. I even believed for a long time that my job must be "the thing everyone can do". And even after that, I sometimes think, "I'm not good at doing this". Indeed, it is sad because I have worked this job for over 20 years, but I can't stop saying so.
Me, I want to confess my genuine opinion about my job like this. "Because the company gives me the opportunity, I want to work with thankfulness for it". In other words, I don't "like" my job... you might say that you dislike your job?" or "what a greedy opinion". But I won't say that I "dislike" my job. I just have a neutral emotion that "I do what I should do". I also say that "If I have to do it, then I want to do really seriously". I want to do as well as I can, and I also want to add my taste to my work.
When I was a student, I wanted to make books adding my taste by joining publishers because I liked reading. But, it was just a dream of an amateur so I couldn't get that kind of job. So I came back to this hometown and spent half a year as a NEET, and started the current job for daily meals and coming back to the society... even now I think that "If it was the one which I could use English, then I could work brilliantly". But I am certainly trying to change the current environment by using the system of job coaches. I am doing my activities. I should face the current job so now I am trying to work hard from this stage of life.
Today was a day for the "danshu" meeting. I attended it and learned a lot from the members' stories. Me, when I drank a lot, every time I thought the death and believed that it would become easier if I disappeared. What a narrow sight! I couldn't find that I was supported by many people. Yes, once I blamed my company as a "black company" and thought if I could be born in another era. But now I want to believe that we can "bloom" even if the situation is terrible. Of course, changing the situation might be a good solution. But I want to live seriously from now, from this stage of my life.
