Back To Life

Back To Reality

2021/08/21 English

The morning I had watched Chloé Zhao's "Nomadland". I've worked at a company for 20 years. I don't love the company but just have spent the time because I don't have the others to go. So once I had adored the "nomad" worker's lifestyle. Not just working for a single company and moving from here to there (we say "Rolling stones gather no moss"). But this movie says it is not so easy. It was a serious movie which has a certain message. But it needs more "pop" essence?

Will today be the memorial day? I remember the rock group Number Girl's lyric. "Just like we can't remember the cases two years ago/I might vanish into this scene". Yes, I can't remember the events of 2 years ago. I can't remember what I had thought and done the action 2 years ago... and my current feeling/emotion will vanish 2 years after. This thought tells me that the "current" feeling/emotion can be precious. Living for "now" is difficult.

...I thought like this when I had got the second vaccine today. I waited for the turn and got. It was not painful so I felt nervous when I thought "The memory I have got the vaccine now will fade away? The experience of corona panic will vanish in the end?". Oh, everything must go... In the urban place, we say about the collapse of the medical system. I can live safely because of the effort by the staff from my group home. I have to stay thankful. Just be alive. I can enjoy this corona panic because I am living. Just living now. That's important.

The night I had watched Michael Haneke's "The Time Of The Wolf". Haneke described his "the end of the world" in this movie. Is corona panic the end of the world? If this panic lasts and our life would collapse? I think about J.G.Ballards's novels I am reading. Ballard also writes about "the end of the world" and the people's life which still lasts "after" it. Our life won't end if we live. This world also won't end. Our life is splendid. I don't want to forget this principle. This movie also might tell us like that...