BGM: Aphex Twin - Xtal
Today was a day off and a perfect day for walking in the mountain. I went to that mountain and spent my time doing nothing with Aphex Twin's album "Selected Ambient Works 85-92". Indeed, there is no special thing to do in there even though it has rich greenery. All I do is just to face the nature or myself. And also I learn that the nature doesn't seem to be changing drastically by visiting there every week. But, maybe this is because I am an autistic person therefore a kind of monomania, I start learning that there is a certain change within that greenery or nature. That's like our life. Writing this journal lets me learn about this: Everyday is not a simple result of repetition even though it seems to be a cluster of happening the same things/events. And also, it doesn't mean that it is boring. Every single day is a precious day, so it has a certain worth to be lived carefully. Quitting alcohol and learning autism let me learn about them. In Japan, a lot of fiction of "infinite/endless loop" are read passionately, but we can enjoy some certain difference in that kind of "repetitive" "infinite loop", can't we?
When was the first time I listened to Aphex Twin's music? Listening to his beautiful tunes makes me calm... People say that autistic people like me feel calm when they do their routine works. It seems that his tunes are a kind of good medicine which enables me to do that routine, and also keep on peace of mind. But, this might sound so strange but, that kind of autistic people who like the firm calmness had done/achieved a lot of "breakthrough" things which had made this world confused and recreated. Autistic people tend to be in a panic when they find the sameness is disturbed... but I guess that those autistic pioneers/innovators would say "why? I have done what I believe in my life". But I still want to ask that why it becomes possible if I see the real world full of innovations autistic people made. Indeed, there must be more neurotypical innovators, but I still think that it is interesting that some great people who were free that dilemma, and who must live their lives as they wanted honestly.
This afternoon, listening to Lou Reed, I read Ryu Murakami's "YouTuber". I remember that I had read Ryu's novels a lot during my life because he has been a great/huge rival of Haruki Murakami, therefore treated as a new pioneer of Japanese literature. Yes, he has written a lot of "controversial" and "marvelous" masterpieces... and this novel is about a "trendy" and "catchy" topic, the YouTuber(s). But I guess that the thing he is trying to write/tell is also about a "classical" one which is "the basic/true essence of our limited life". Indeed, this novel has no reality, and also the confession within it is too unacceptable to read, but I accept it is about our sad fate or nature therefore I never treat it as crap. What is that "sad fate/nature"? I think that is the fact that we will die one day, and also we have to be beaten/defeated by this real or this world itself. That can be described as "everything is in a flow" like some oriental religious thoughts. And, not surrendering to that fate, but trying to live against that fate would give us the meaning or beauty of life. Our passionate power of life must be beautiful... I accept this is the message from this novel.
This sunset time, I met an ex-staff of my group home again. As a friend, she had asked me that "have you heard of the app ''WhatsApp'?". I heard that a member of her family is living in a foreign land, and that person had said to her that he wants to use her that WhatsApp, instead of LINE. Therefore she wanted me to tell about it. But I am just an old/out-of-date dude so never able to say that I can understand how to use WhatsApp. So it took about half an hour to control/set the environment of her smartphone to enable her with that family member via WhatsApp. She could communicate with him by this setting I made... and she said to me a lot of thanksgiving as "I really appreciate it! Every shoppers I went only installed it, but never told me how to use". But I don't think this is irrational because WhatsApp is not a popular app within Japanese users. For foreign users, the app LINE which is almost Japanese "national" app we Japanese use every day passionately would be "what on earth this app is?". Indeed, this era becomes globalized and the world becomes flatter. But, this is the real therefore it is interesting.
