BGM: HAL FROM APOLLO'69 "TERRAPLANE BOOGIE"
This morning I got a message from Judith in Indonesia. She said she wants to visit Japan, and I felt glad to hear that. The year will end soon. We connected on clubhouse each other and enjoyed talking about various topics. Of course, I hope we will talk next year too. Today I had to work early so enjoyed the music of HAL FROM APOLLO'69 and Cornelius before work. After that, I worked and spent idle time during lunch break. In short, I spent my time as usual. Although Eve or new year's day comes, my time goes very very ordinarily. Even if a star came and crushed the earth tomorrow, I would spend my time that way.
One of the troubles of this "end and begin" season is that libraries should close them. I have to borrow the books I want to read, but my interest changes recklessly like a cat's eye. I can't see what books I would like to read next moment. Actually, as you know by this diary, yesterday I wrote about John Irving but today I want to read Souseki Natsume. So today I borrowed Charles Dicken's first volume of "David Copperfield" that I promised a friend of mine in France to read. I might read it with "A Tale of Two Cities" and "Oliver Twist", but I have to admit that I wouldn't read them anymore. I can't tell.
We Japanese have a word to tell the "lonely Christmas" as "kuribotti", and I certainly have to enjoy that "kuribotti" in the group home alone. Unfortunately, we have to face the Christmas with a cold wave. Today, during I enjoyed chatting on Discord, a friend of mine told me "Now world's end girlfriend is doing his performance online on YouTube!". I tried to watch that but couldn't stop feeling sleepy as a reality of middle age. So I went to bed... this kind of reality of aging makes me sick. Single bells... I can remember that this year I confessed my lonely life without any female essences to the chief of my group home. I feel ashamed about that, but I have to owe it a serious problem.
I still have many many books I have to read, but never read in this life. "The Great Gatsby" and "Pride and Prejudice" (especially, Jane Austin's works attract me so someday I want to read them completely). But I can only do what I have an interest in, or what I want to do. So although you may say "what have you done in your life?" or "you haven't read such important books?", I can't do that because I can't do that (I know this sounds tautological). I should accept what is impossible for me and have to enjoy my life within that limit. This would be a secret of life. I can't drive a car because of autism, but I feel that I can enjoy myself within that limit. This might be a life hack from Spinoza and Koichiro Kokubun.