I couldn't manage myself so I wanted to do nothing. Luckily today was a day off so I thought I would stay home all this day. Doing nothing, just sleeping well... but after I had breakfast and took a bath, I wanted to go to Aeon as my morning activity as usual. How miserable my condition is, I would do the things I have to do. I have learned this from my work. This diary is also so. I sometimes don't want to write anymore, but I just do what I should do even if the emotion is not on. Then, my body reacts automatically and starts doing my work or private tasks. Then I let myself be.
I read Haruki Murakami's "Dance Dance Dance". By the way, what does this long novel try to tell us? Indeed, this is a great or well-made one, but it seems that nothing useful isn't told in it. But we can accept this because just it's a wonderful one for storytelling. Just reading novels to wander our minds... that might be needed sometimes. Describing the 80s fashionable atmosphere, referring to a lot of pieces of music, and writing about the era which was full of consuming for pleasure only. I might need that kind of running away from this reality this time.
As I wrote yesterday, I did a big mistake in my life and felt terrible. I think that I would die as a poor person. But one of the responsibilities of this life must be that I have. That is also a fact. I don't want to live life doing Twitter all day with a drunken mind, then I want to train myself and have to go forward. I started reading Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood" in English. Reading it in English, I find that it doesn't have any rich touch, but do have a tight one. I want to read more to learn English and improve.
I might be able to learn this from "Dance Dance Dance", then that must be a lesson of "growing up" and "all things must pass" as I wrote yesterday. It was the same as "Norwegian Wood". However I had miserable moments, my stomach would get empty and every morning would come. Then I just do "dance dance dance" to the flowing time. Then I can see any good moments or become fine again. My body will recover from any pains, and a new chance will come. Days go like that ...Life goes on. Thinking like that, I read "Dance Dance Dance" and thought thankful for today. That was the end of today.