Today I worked early. I write about what happened yesterday in this diary when I wake up. Writing them using the memo pad I always put in my pocket. After that, I have breakfast, take a shower, wash my clothes, and enjoy chatting on Discord. Then I go to my workplace and start working. Before the work, I feel sick because I can't find any motivation to start. Recently I rely on Montaigne, who has been known as the author of "Essays", who also said that "My appetite comes to me while eating". If I start working, my motivation comes from anywhere. At least, I try to believe so. Then it comes true.
I heard that the hashtag "If I could read only one author in my life" was popular. Me, I had been influenced by Haruki Murakami very much so I wanted to choose Haruki. But I also thought I wanted to choose Paul Auster. I remember that I wrote my papers about Auster graduating from the university with some struggles. I like reading Auster with the translation into Japanese by Motoyuki Shibata. That promises me a great time. So I would live with Auster's funny fiction and intelligent essays.
Recently I listen to Kenji Ozawa's "The Dogs Bark, But The Caravan Moves On" again and again. I like this album's calm atmosphere. I can say only with abstract expressions, but I have been impressed by his strong will to make this stoic album. He parted from this world's snob scene and tried to believe what he could believe. I like this album's masterpiece tune "A scene of angels", which has the lyric "Give me the strength of believing in God/not giving up for living on". Yes, he 'believes in God'... that doesn't mean his weakness. Keeping the will to believe is the evidence of strength... I think so.
The night, I attended the online meeting by the international association on ZOOM. The topic was the picture book "What happens before the war?" and the animation based on it. We Japanese have been parted from any war because of the constitution, but maybe all we need from now might not be to run away from the realism of the war but to manage this country by looking at the reality. Of course, it doesn't mean that we must commit to the war. Having a certain responsibility for our behavior and saying NO to any war with a strong will. We can do it if we want.
