In the morning I had a lesson in English on clubhouse. The theme of the talk was the choice of "time or money" so I chose time. For me, to live is to feel rich time so I want to live long and feel various things as, for example, sunshine's warmness and so on. But another person said if we had enough money, we could skip various troublesome things. I think it was a good time. I'm getting used to the manner of clubhouse and the atmosphere of several users talking. I want to output in English more and become a fluent English speaker.
Boring days go on. I work, read, and watch... it is because I don't have any purpose for my future. But then, what should I do for the future? I can't see... once I thought I wanted to be happy or big. I couldn't become big but that's not strange. I have no talent to become big... I become a happy person. That's my honest opinion. Whether it is, I don't need such purposes or desires to become. Now I can't see how I want to be. As Isaac Bashevis Singer says, I want to let God write my life story.
The night, I talked about Haruki Murakami with my friends at an online meeting. The next month, the news of who is the Nobel prize writer in 2021 will be opened. I talked about the fact that he has been said as the next Nobel prize writer (but I think this is a rumor), and he couldn't be. For me, Haruki Murakami is the person who made my way of thinking or living. That's great enough. So I don't give Haruki's name more dignity by Nobel prize. If his work would be proved as an ultimate thing by the prize, I think that life without his books also could be great. I like his works, that's enough.
Remembering the past, I had read "Norwegian Wood" when I was a high school student. I had been moved by it so I started to explore his world. I can't see what has attracted me. Maybe the stories he wrote were about ones various people who felt strange to the world and had difficulty living. And they looked at their difficulty honestly. About "Norwegian Wood", sensitive movements in people's minds were described. So I had been attracted and thought this was real. I should follow him and write something. But what should I write?