BGM: Pavement - Range Life
Now I am writing a draft for the coming presentation of mine at the 15th of this month, and finding that my days are really plain and boring. I wake up, do some morning tasks (taking a bath, having breakfast, washing clothes,) go to somewhere (mainly at AEON,) and read books. Looking at these routines I usually do, I think I need to change something (even though it can be a little bit,) but what?
Why on earth do I think about this? Maybe, one of the reasons why can be because a friend of mine says he is thinking about his future plan seriously - and it reminds me of the other friends of mine also have already started living their lives as they want to do. For example, going to study game design (I heard so,) or to study caring other aged people, and more.
Then, what should I do? Although I read some great philosophical books and write about them (within this journal, or as other Facebook posts,) recently I stopped doing them because of my idleness. Do I have to start studying philosophy by using any systems of universities? Already I am becoming 49, but my inner voice keeps on asking to me that I shouldn't stop doing challenging, creating a path to the future.
The facts about me today - It was a day off, so I went out to AEON. Where, I started reading a book about love and communications (大澤真幸『恋愛の不可能性について』,) and found it was a brilliant book. But I couldn't concentrate to read it completely. Therefore, I gave up doing so and went to the bookstore, and at there I bought a book of Yukio Mishima (三島由紀夫『潮騒』.) However, after having lunch and also taking a nap, I couldn't do anything productive/creative, so just have spent my precious free time wastefully.
OMG! Though I want to record today's events well (what I have confessed at the "danshu" meeting, etc.) I can't do so because I have written too much. But it happens because of any completely mysterious reason. Although I opened some books, or thought of using Bluesky to open a new door of my life, I couldn't do so. What is the meaning of this life?