When I was in my 20s and 30s, "before" having gotten diagnosed as an autistic person, I used to keep visiting Kyoto to join monthly meetings of a self-help group, I had learned about that group at the BBS of a famous sociologist Shinji Miyadai's website, where the leader of that group used to post various provoking, and very crisp opinions. I live in Hyogo, which is not so far from Kyoto. Even though because of this autistic character I can't drive a car (I must use a bus and train to go there), I enjoyed the monthly meetings a lot.
We discussed a lot of issues: For example, "serial experiments lain", "Evangelion", various rock music masterpieces, and also personal disorder. at that time, to be honest I did not know about autism a lot. I just thought that I must have a sort of personality disorder, and therefore I even tried to follow that elderly "absolute" leader's advice (or, I even tried to "obey" them). That was, of course, very irrational. Anyway, with a little "discord" or "uncomfortable" emotion in my mind, I kept visiting Kyoto to enjoy the meetings.
I remember... Once, I spilled some compliments about my parents (or co-workers), then the leader said "You must kill your parents, without that you wouldn't be released". Of course, it must be beyond any rational/logical judgment, therefore I can never "try" or even "imagine" to do that. That could be one of the reasons; anyway, finally, we broke up with a serious discord from an argument. I say I have a certain thanksgiving for that group's help about this. If I had to live that terrible period without that group's help (it was also "before" I started quitting alcohol), I must have been "crushed" by several pressures.
Times have changed. Now, even though real meetings must have their "delicious", and "precious" taste, we can choose to join several online meetings. This evening, I joined a "Year-End" party on Discord and had a great time with many other members. We made some "haiku (a form of Japanese short poem)", and enjoyed chatting. After that, I opened a book to enjoy, but today I had to work so early, therefore felt sleepy so soon. Thank you so much.
