BGM: THE GROOVERS - 無敵の日々
I worked early today. This morning, I started remembering my terrible days again. TBH, this season is one of the toughest seasons I have to endure. In short, on Christmas and the end of the year - until the New Year. TBH I am working at a department store, so it is one of the great chances for our business - therefore it gets really busy. Once, about 10 years ago, at the period I belonged to the different section, I couldn't follow up the works I had to do therefore I tried to change it. But I could do nothing, therefore I took a lot of pills to escape from my work - or from everything I had faced.
And - I came back from the critical state. The top of the store said I should stay home, so I had spent three months at my house. During these three months, I had been soaked into a deep desperate. My life has ended already, and I have to give up everything. Basically, I am not the one who isn't wished to be born - Yes, a banal, uncool story. But I am saying this honestly/seriously. But, God would give me "the second chapter," or "the second prime time". I want to write about that (maybe I will write it in the near future.)
This afternoon, the lunchtime I heard that Yusuke Chiba (チバユウスケ) had passed away. I felt surprised - and cried a little. Once, I had believed strictly like this. Sometimes we say this kind of thing as a cliché to say RIP to the dead musician(s). "I wish he would enjoy a nice session in heaven." But it should be prohibited because it could be a kind of imaginary masturbation. Why? The dead ones must not exist in anywhere. He/she disappeared from anywhere. Only we the egoistic survivors imagine so - therefore it could be silly. Yes, this is an extreme, therefore uncool idea. But I had believed so.
But now, I say to Chiba "I hope you will enjoy the great sessions with Futoshi Abe (アベフトシ) and other great musicians." Because, in those kinds of our trials of recalling the dea people, they will stay alive and kicking. Yes, we can keep the memories of dead ones. We won't throw away those grateful memories. RIP - and I really appreciate it, Chiba san.