BGM: Boy George - Crying Game
Today I worked late. This morning, I attended the ZOOM meeting via Facebook as usual. After that, I went to AEON and started reading Susumu Nishibe's "The Manner of Life" (西部邁『人生の作法』), but my brain didn't stop complaining. It was like buzzing in my head so really noisy.
I stopped reading, and started writing about the irritation I was having. Remember the books you've read until now, and try describing the movements in your mind as those book say. The irritation - it is similar to the feeling once I used to have felt when I was a heavy drinker. This might be "withdrawal symptoms". But why? I remember this - I had been haunted by this feeling when/if I had tried to stop drinking any alcohol.
I usually do this morning activity as we Japanese call 朝活(asakatsu). Then, I could be addicted by this morning activity. This activity certainly affords/provides me a great pleasant moment every time, therefore I might have been addicted by it - Of course, I am not a professional doctor so this is an instant idea of mine. But this can be understandable to me because I am really an addictive person.
TBH, I have been suffered from my insomnia. I usually wake up at 4 am, and start writing my thoughts on Discord. I understand that it must cause bad effects to my health, but I can't stop it. Then, how can I do? I googled and found out another great word 眠活(minkatsu), which means the activities for gaining good sleep. I want to google this more. Try, try, try.
I quit reading the Nishibe's book, and started checking/correcting the articles we are trying to upload on our website. Although I couldn't read any books this morning, I actually/practically have found various notices. This kind of collaboration (in this case, my friends and I work together) can mean how the "public mind" is important.
From 3 pm, my job coach and I started discussing about the insomnia I had written above, and about my job more.