BGM: Herbie Hancock - Cantaloupe Island
This morning I attended the online meeting on ZOOM as usual, and we talked about what kind of books we usually enjoy. I showed the book of mine, Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood" (English version, even though I have never read it completely yet). Other members also recommended various books, and we enjoyed ourselves.
TBH... I have started searching for the info about internet addiction (especially some "controversial" and "adult" contents). On Discord, I met a YouTube movie had been introduced by someone, and it taught me that possibility. I confessed it to a friend of mine. I have never learned about that kind of addiction, but I can understand how to accept an addiction generally. At first, I shouldn't rely on my will itself. About alcohol, I started accepting that I must be a powerless, weak person in front of it. Surrender, and accept. That must be a key to be free... I believe this simple principle.
Tomorrow I will attend another meeting. The monthly meeting about autism. I believe this monthly self-help meeting on ZOOM has changed me like this. How would happen if we had not met at that restaurant? Oh my goodness. I could have changed myself eventually... and now, I can express myself in English (although my English always needs me to improve more and more. It must be endless). How would I be if I had not joined that group? That encountering actually opened my inner door.
And... I started having a pride about me. But why? I have been an addicted person. I have been addicted with alcohol and more... literally a weak, messy person. But now, I can talk about that kind of my dear weakness... Oh, what a strange life.
This evening, My job coach and I met at her house. We talked about the money management of mine. It has shown various irrational problems, and they come from the fact how stressful my work has been. Although I had to show how lazy and weak I am, it ended as a great, creative meeting.