BGM: Beastie Boys - Hey Ladies
Once I read Koutarou Sawaki, a Japanese popular journalist, and found this question in his writing. "Men and women. From which have you learned the important things in your life?". Of course, now is the diversity age so this kind of "too simple" question can be uncool or "out of fashion". Can we divide the human beings as men and women simply? ...But I like this question so try to answer. My life, who have influenced it a lot until now? When I was a child, I had been hated and bullied by girls. My generation was not the one which is based on any diversity, so the people had thought as "Men should be men" and "Men have to support/save women". That was the common sense of our era. I was not masculine, and also really poor at doing sports so the girls had treated me as a creepy creature. They treated me as a sissy boy with laughing. They also said to me as "creepy" and "wacky"... so I don't have any beautiful/sweet first love memory. I have never thought that I had a licence to love someone else... although this is like a story of the Smith's bangers.
And the time has changed... I had started working at the current company. My female boss had treated me terribly. I had to face various miserable events. Although I always think that misogyny is just a crap, at somewhere in my mind I might think as "Women must be suspicious" and "They have two faces. One is the dutiful face and the other is just a bitch". Yes, this is not any realistic or rational stance of thinking, but I tend to think that "Women are bothersome to go with"... But life is fair. I can remember that the women had helped me a lot when I had been in troubles deeply. The woman I met in my 30s. She suggested me that I am autistic. And in my 40s I met another woman, who changed me by her severe and honest comment "You shouldn't blame yourself in such a terrible way anymore". Now, I am working with a job coach woman who has been one of the precious mentors for me... It seems my life has been rolled with that connections with various wonderful women. Now I am enjoying communication with a Russian friend, Victoria. And also I am enjoying the host woman in an English saloon. Unbelievable!
On Twitter, I learned that a friend of mine I trust and respect weaved his best 10 books in the first half of 2023. I started weaving that list in my way... At the first half of this year, I had to quit my work. It was really hard time. I had to face my "beasty" and "lusty" mental and physical desire... And I read Junichiro Tanizaki's "Naomi" and Vladimir Nabokov's "Lolita". I also thought/weaved my own dream in this period. I also read Ryuichi Sakamoto's autobiography because of the news he had passed away. I enjoyed Haruki Murakami's new one (it is great). I weaved that "I wanna be a bridge person who connects Shiso city and the world". It was a big, great, important change in this half. I am living with the attitude of "Don't Look Back In Anger" somewhere in my mind. But I need to do this kind of clearance/inventory. It must be important for me.
This evening I had an English conversation class. There, today we enjoyed the topic of the lesson of "your dream summer holidays" a lot. How many days/months do you want as summer holidays? If you could get, then what you would do? (you choose staying home to enjoy reading/watching? Or you would go traveling?). At my workplace summer is the busiest season in the year so we can't get any summer holidays. If I could get, I would take a week trip to my parents' house. I want to eat eels with my parents (we Japanese eat eels and rice as great summer food). If I would go to somewhere, I want to go to Taiwan and Hong Kong. A friend of mine on MeWe had recommended me to go to New Zealand and I have been interested in. After that conversation/lesson, we enjoyed a game. "Two truths and one lie". This is the one that a participant says three things (two truths and one lie), and the other member try to answer which is correct. I said to everyone as "I graduated Waseda", "I had been worked as a HOST", and "I have never seen a ghost". They got confused... and I answered "TBH I have never worked as a HOST". They got surprised a lot. But, then which was the thing surprised them? This truth as "I have never worked as a HOST"? Or another one as "I graduated Waseda"?.
