BGM: Eminem - Lose Yourself
Today was a day off. This morning I went to the hospital to see my doctor. I always talked with him once a month as usual. I got some medicines and went to Aeon to stay for a while. With sweet soul music by Mrs. Lauryn Hill, I read Yoshio Kataoka's "Japanese and English" and got impressed by his crisp discussions. When we start expressing something in English, we use "I" and "YOU" to converse. In short, we make our subjects (this person and another) clear and build communication by saying things like "I love you". It's one of the huge differences from the Japanese because in Japanese we can erase our subject that shows who is talking. After erasing our subjects, there remains what we want to say, what we are trying to say. Of course, we can't judge which should be better. But it is in the contrast, also the core of learning English therefore it is interesting.
Clarifying our subjects means expressing our "individual" or "privacy" clearly. "Individual" is a counter concept to "public". Suddenly (probably it was 20 years ago today), two Japanese intellectuals Shinji Miyadai and Yoshinori Kobayashi, discussed them. What books would tell me that? I want to learn about the "individual" seriously and drastically by this chance. And also, I thought that clarifying "individual" like that also can mean becoming "an adult" who can stay independent and also connect themselves to the world. The philosophy about being "an adult"... I can't imagine. Thinking that I also thought if I am now an adult. I guess I am still a child. I am a person who watches various "adult" content on fishy sites with eating snacks every night... why that kind of person can be "an adult"?
This afternoon I went to a temple near my group home to join a meeting. We enjoyed good talking about philosophy. The topic became what is "being orthodox". Me, when I was a high school student, I was into Haruki Murakami alone. However, I couldn't enjoy talking with any other classmates so I was clearly an outsider there. The comment by a member reminded me of the concept of "adult children" which once became popular to enlighten the suffering of the "lack of esteem needs". I was the person who wandered to get esteem from others once. The talk got excited, and another member said that "talking honestly leads to others' honesty". It was impressive to me, and I also talked about my honest opinions with them. Now I can enjoy various kinds of "orthodox" by belonging to many groups (this meeting, the "danshu" meeting, Discord, etc) to escape from the very Japanese concept of "peer pressure". That is one of my tactics for living this life. If I felt "peer pressure" from a group, I would go to another one to enjoy a different atmosphere and point of view to set myself free.
This evening I enjoyed George Benson and read Kumiko Torikai's "English skill for talking". As I wrote about her yesterday, I listened to her opinions on a podcast program so I could enjoy this book too. How can we enjoy a vivid conversation that is made by ad-lib or improvisation, therefore can be an unpredictable thing? (and we have to understand that is done in a foreign language for us!). This book contains many clues for that. I got that she tries to explain how important we start talking about something to show our will to others. Not staying in shyness and still, even though that attitude is really Japanese. Me, I am never talkative. I adore Sanma Akashiya and Tamori, the two great talk show hosts in Japan, but actually, I speak "ultra" poor English. That's real. But if I didn't provide or afford my truth in that kind of conversation, nothing would start. I believe that "make mistakes with pride" is a great attitude. Today I also experienced shameful events, but it's Okay.
