2022/07/10 English

In the afternoon I thought while I ate udon as lunch. At last, I lived with a leftist. Probably I will die as so... but why? why does the left idea attract me? I can't see. TBH I have to say that I have never read Marx. Also, I have never learned about Foucault or Deleuze. Yes, I have to learn more. I just believed that the idea that helps me as one of the weak people must be the left-liberal idea, not the right-nationalistic idea. I want to rely on a peaceful concept, not a sublime concept as Japan itself.

Indeed, I am an idiot. I have to confess that my thoughts or ideologies have been made by some fishy things, not serious books of thoughts. The policy I have been made by the music of Blur and Fishmans which I had listened to a lot as a university student, and the manga as "Azumanga Daioh". I have read the novels as Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood", Kazushi Hosaka's "Plainsong" and Genichiro Takahashi's "Farewell, Gangsters", and also watched the movies of Yasujiro Ozu, Hirokazu Koreeda, Kiyoshi Kurosawa, and Takeshi Kitano. Also, I have been influenced by the columns by Toshiyuki Horie and Susumu Sogo. I am just an amalgam or a cluster of hamburger steak, that has been made by various pop cultures.

My rare thoughts as an amalgam have grown up with affirming themselves and grown up to be a hybrid ideology with the influence of thoughts of some old-fashioned leftists like Toshiya Ueno. Therefore 'pure' left people call me I am cynical. Also, 'pure' right-wing people say I'm left or liberal. But I believe that 'hybrid' thoughts are die-hard like 'hybrid' cats or dogs. I would live more as a 'hybrid' old dude like Charles Bukowski, who was neither left nor right.

I worked early today. After coming back, I read Kenichiro Mogi's "Brains and Qualia". I have been impressed by Mogi's passion, which is similar to Shinji Miyadai's passion for sociology. Qualia is everywhere in this world. The sublime taste of banbanji I ate today, and the 'sensational' melodies of Suede's song I'm listening to, are qualia and therefore precious. That is not just a phenomenon of some chemical neurotic reactions in our brains. The fact that there are some attractive arts such as Toshiya Ueno's books and Suede's songs, and the fact that my life meets those arts. I have to think like this like Oasis's "Champagne Supernova". Why, Why, Why...