Today was a day off. I went to the library and borrow Freud's and Bateson's books. After that, I went to Aeon and read Tim Ingold's "Being Alive" with chilling. Although I tried to write my ideas on my memo pad, as usual, nothing came to my mind. I tried to write everything, but it's difficult to try to be unlimited. So I spent my morning time with Pet Shop Boys' music. Ah, I can remember that I read Masahiko Shimada's and Kojin Karatani's essays passionately when I was a high school student... I have never changed from those days I guess.
In the afternoon, I still spent useless time and started reading Kenichiro Mogi's "Qualia and artificial consciousness", which was one of the books I had borrowed. I remembered that once I tried to think about neuroscience with various books like Antonio Damacio's even if I was an amateur. What is consciousness? What does mean to think as I am doing this? Of course, I can see nothing. Everything in this world is a big enigma and all I can see during this short life must be a little. So I should be modest about that great mystery. I should be quiet with facing that enigma as Wittgenstein did.
Of course, I am not a serious person who always thinks and does this kind of too 'smart' things. I sometimes show how I am stupid or thoughtless. I am basically a pervert and think useless ideas. Once I used to show those kinds of ridiculous things on Twitter... even now, I wish I could buy some expensive books (I am now attracted by Michael Graziano) or I could live without any sweats. These stupid essences in me are connected to being me who wants to read Bateson's book. Humanity contains that kind of chaos I believe.
At night, I went to the English conversation class. In this lesson, we learned about various holidays in Japan. Teachers taught us what is 'Tanabata' and we wrote our wishes on each piece of paper. I wrote "I wish the peace of mind" and they said to me "Nice!". Ah, I can feel that some greedy desires (we Japanese describe with using the word 'oily') disappear... getting old or being poor too much? We played the game based on an American TV show "Jeopardy!" and enjoyed an interesting time. I wondered if I should buy Kenichiro Mogi's book "The brain and Qualia", and I spent the night with Pizzicato Five's music. I thought I would read Yasuharu Konishi's essays again.
