犬は吠えるがキャラバンは進む

The Dogs Bark, But The Caravan Moves On.

2022/05/25 English

I've got a direct mail about the English conversation class which our city's international association will hold. It starts in June. I have been for a long time since I started attending this class. NGL, I learned English literature at a university. But I had a strong inferiority complex about my English. I have never studied abroad and also my English is never fluent like native speakers. But now, I think that's OK, and this slow speaking style is mine I believe. I'm Japanese so I should have trouble with L and R. This (shameless?) style might be looked like a brave one I guess.

I started trying to watch the drama "The Good Doctor", which once a user on Clubhouse recommended to me. It was an American version and made me cry a little although it was just the first episode. The way of walking of the main character, the way talking, and the attitude he goes his own way without caring about other persons' minds already show the autistic character very well. I heard this drama has also a Japanese version. I can't judge anything because it's just a beginning episode, but these kinds of dramas must express autism in a creative and neat way. I thought that the time has changed.

At night I went to the 'danshu' meeting. I talked about that "The Good Doctor". I also talked about I couldn't accept myself even though I had noticed that I am an autistic person, and it was very difficult to accept this myself and to be me. I had even tried to change myself by buying very expensive books and CDs of self-help. But now I think that I should accept this myself and that makes me start my life. Another member talked about he wanted to drink alcohol if it becomes hot in summer. I thought these meetings exactly give me a certain power.

After that, I talked about autism on Clubhouse in English. I confessed my life story. Or I might have to say that I didn't have another staff to talk to because I'm not a specialist or a doctor. A member Yanne asked me various questions actively so I could talk about myself by answering them. I could let my words out through the questions... I was weird since I was a kid, and I couldn't enjoy a campus life even I went to Waseda. Ah, it was a hard life. I could enjoy the meeting well. Also, Asel came there. Everything is changing... I felt that.