I had a day off. This morning I attended a meeting about autism with my friends. This time, instead of opening Zoom, we chose to enjoy the "offline" meeting in a room in a public house in this city. We talked about various topics such as "how this city's situation (especially about autism) has been changed", "how we should treat our traumatic memories properly" etc.
At that meeting, a member pointed out to me that I had kept on confessing my traumatic memories to the "current" members. Certainly, that has been a critical (but very honest) one, therefore, I had become awkward answering properly. But I thought that I had kept on doing that because they have been the true "mates" of me, who always look at me sincerely. I answered that thing to them as an "ad-lib" thinking.
After that meeting, I went to a library to return books. Then, suddenly it started raining hard (we Japanese call this kind of raining as "guerrilla rain"). Therefore I had to stay at the house of the library... and looked at so many books there. Once, when I started attending that meeting, I had suffered from my habit of buying things (especially books) too much. At that time, I believed that the more I had owned books (not "enjoyed reading" them), the more I could have gotten satisfied. Oh my!
As you can see easily, at the end of any month I had to face the fact that I had to have very little money to endure till the next payday. Now I can see that at that period I had to face my inner issues which prevented me from having/saving money. Actually, for example, at that period I had had traumatic memories I had written about above, and I had kept in my mind pocket a certain anxiety toward my future (that also drove me toward drinking too much...)
Even now, I can never say I am rich or successful guy who is already at a higher stage (as a "young executive"). However, after encountering my friends who brought me making that meeting, I can start learning how I can enjoy my true, precious happiness. That could not mean for me how much/many I can own as a collection, but how much/have I can enjoy their tastes actually...
