BGM: John Lennon - (Just Like) Starting Over
Going out from my parents' house, I returned to my group home at about 10:30. On the bookshelf of my room, I had found some Japanese paperbacks by Yukio Mishima so I brought them to this home, and I swore to myself that I need to throw these books away eventually, because these books can stop my moving freely if I strictly treat them as a kind of Linus's blanket. Slowly, and eventually, I will try to read them from now.
I went to a gas station, then a staff gave me a pack of chocolates. Yes, this is Valentine's Day. I also went to the library, and at there I borrowed two books. One of them was a Japanese one "The Book of Depression (『鬱の本』)", which looks like an anthology about the relationship of depression and reading. Me, what books would I read if I get depressed so seriously? I ask this to myself...
Once, when I had lived in that parents' house in my 20s and 30s (yes, when I had been a terrible, miserable heavy drinker,) I hadn't enjoyed reading so much. But, at that period like hell, I had chose some books out of curiosity - One of them was Frankel's "Man's Search For Meaning." By reading it, I had seriously asked to the sky - Does this life have the worth to live? Can I say yes to this life? I have remembered this...
BTW, because of my childish tendency to procrastinate, I had a few tasks more to do (one of them was going to a gas station I have written above.) I have to google how to create my own meeting place on zoom next Sunday, and also write the rest of the draft to the presentation I will do tomorrow. But my autistic head often (yes, SO often) forgets them. Do I have to buy a new notebook to manage my schedule or the list of tasks (so-called "to do")?
After having dinner, I went to the "danshu" meeting. At there, I told other members about the homecoming I had done. It certainly made me lighter. Coming back to my home again, I enjoyed reading a Japanese book. There are still many books I want to read... some are to cure my depressed mind, and others are to enjoy out of curiosity. I would try Samuel Beckett if I would be able to remember this near the future.
