From today, I will enjoy this season's English conversation class. This class has been held by my city's international association organization, therefore the cost is really reasonable. The teachers are native people who teach at schools in my town (we call them as "ALT (assistant language teacher)".) Although they must have got tired because of their daytime job as teachers, they always teach us really cheerfully and honestly. I see their professionalism, and so respect them.
At today's lesson, we did our self introduction to each other. I told other members about myself as I worked at a department store, and also I have studied American literature, etc. Although I am really "poor" at doing small talk, I could talk about various things in English. Probably it is because of my practice I have done - my English practice does work actually. That is really glad to me.
I remember - Once I had been really a weak coward. I had to struggle with a certain inferiority complex in my mind which couldn't allow the fact that my English was really poor. Oh, once I had done a really terrible misunderstanding. This kind of English class/lesson is not the place of competing/battling with others. Even though we might be able to accept the fact that there are more fluent speakers than us, that won't (or shouldn't) determine that which people are simply better than others.
At least, for me, that is the key meaning of the concept "self-esteem (or dignity)". Indeed, the competitive mind would let me learn English more effectively - then, I choose that I compare my progressing with the past myself. Once, when I was just a beginner, how had I been lost in my learning? From that point, how I could have walked steadily until here? Yes, this principle is same for me as the "danshu" meeting and also other activities I have had. Not compare with others, but with myself.
I say this. There must be so many greater speakers than me - but it's Okay. I just keep on walking on my own way to become a great person step by step, certainly.