BGM: 井上陽水 - 黄昏のビギン
Today I went to the library. Probably, this can be the last chance for me to go to borrow a book this year. I borrowed David J. Charmers's book "Reality+". After that, I went back to my group home to enjoy reading that book. But after having dinner, I slept a lot. I had slept for 9 hours! This can show how I have got tired so much. Anyway, I shouldn't have any regret about this - therefore I decided to give up.
The library affords a special service which allows us to borrow 10 books during this period. As I have written in this journal, there are quite many books I want to read - For example, Dickens, Flaubert, Woolf, and various modern authors. But why? Why do I read so many books like these? Once I could have thought that I wanted to get so much knowledge about this world, and therefore I needed to read books for it...
In a way, I had been really a lonesome person within my kingdom. Actually, I had lived within a tiny, really "closed" kingdom within my bedroom... There is no servant, and no other people. Just I was one and only tycoon. But, since (maybe) I was 40, I could have started communicating with other people as one and only diplomat.
Now, I am thinking like this - It seems for me that reading can mean how to build any knowledge in ourselves. But, we also enjoy discussing/communicating with others (so, as Natsuki Ikezawa says, we try to exchange ourselves "chemically".) So, now I give this meaning/definition to the action of reading - To read is to communicate.
By the way, what books could be the best 10 in this year? I just try to decide them. Although I have not cared for recording anything (TBH, I have rarely read my journals or my recording on "bookmeter" again.) In a way, now I have been free from the past days' gravity. And, I decide not to worry about the next year. I just live for today. What can I do for today? At first, I should quit alcohol, and read books steadily, and work... you would say that I am just an idiot. I accept that - but that's my way.