BGM: THE BOOM - 釣りに行こう
This morning I joined an online English meeting via Facebook as usual. We talked about the habit of drinking milks at schools. After that, I went to the library to borrow Masahiko Shimada's book (a guidebook for the people who want to write their novel). And... I went back to my group home to join the online meeting I always enjoy on Wednesdays (it's for practicing English too). This morning I did these activities. Oh, I was really busy.
There must be some "boiling" stuff in me, and they have been waiting for me to let out. Bar-f-out... but that action/trial sometimes requires me various stressful/tough things. What is the core of my thoughts? Fear for the fact I will have to end this life? Loneliness? (I have never experienced any woman... as you know what I am want to say. It's about sex).
Tomorrow (Thursday) I will join another meeting my friends have held as usual. The admins say that it will be about the problems of English learning. I want to ask them how much they can listen to the native American teachers' English talking. TBH, I can listen to their English (not fully, but "almost" as I can "enjoy" the lesson gracefully). But, if they couldn't enjoy the lessons because of the difficulty of listening/hearing, it would be sad.
This evening, I attended the "danshu" meeting. I talked about yesterday event. I have been anxious how I could explain my anger in my workplace (I am not good at explaining/venting my frustration). But today, the leader gave me his honest, warm comment as "You must have a certain faith, and have been really dutiful. Your behavior must not be wrong". I really appreciate it.
And... I went back to my group home, and joined the ZOOM meeting about Haruki Murakami's novels. TBH, I had imagined that it could be a kind of reading salon's meeting. So I could enjoy "chatting" (maybe with a cup of tea and also relaxed mood). But it was really "serious" one. Oh my! I got a little bit ashamed.