跳舞猫日録

Life goes on brah!

2023/10/31 English

BGM: Massive Attack - Teardrop

This event has happened in the morning time of the 1st November, but I want to record this... The morning time, I enjoyed chatting on Discord with a female friend from England. We talked various things sincerely to each other, and the friend suddenly started sobbing because of my story. I can't see if I can write about that event in public, but... it has been really "unbelievable" for me. She even said to me that I am a fighter with a strong mind.

I can't see how to say properly to those words, and her reactions... How would my co-workers react when I said this to them? As I wrote this before, I have been really surprised at this fact... It must be a miracle event for me. In other words, this life is just a great miracle for me. Although I have done nothing... at least, I have nothing to show in public as my achievement(s), but I surely felt that I have been satisfied with her comment, and also behavior.

But... this achievement (I wish this could have such a richness to you) couldn't have been done by me alone. I have to feel thankful to a lot of people. My friends. I can remember why I started using English to write my truth because a friend had praised my English as cool. Everything started from that tiny praise, and my tiny first trial, and eventually it has broaden this.

And, I remember... once I had really been tired of everything, therefore drank a lot. At that period, I had been haunted by destructive idea. I wished I wanted to be a great person. In other words, I wished to be like God. Like... great charismas who declare a lot on X or Facebook. Now, I can feel various people show me their precious kindness. Why could I wish more (even though I can already gain/accept that fertile kindness)?

I won't forget when it was. Happy Halloween! I had two meetings today. On ZOOM, and also the offline English class. I could enjoy talking a lot at both of parties. My English seems getting fluently, even though I can't see...