2022/07/16 English

I've read Takashi Akutsu's "The Journal of Reading" completely. This book has about 1000 pages and I thought that it has an "everlasting' interesting essence, not any 'thrill' which attracts me. I have read this three times but I even thought that this book should be endless (although Akutsu release the next book of this journal). This 'relaxed' greatness is the same as Kazushi Hosaka's novels I guess. And this is also the same as Komimasa Tanaka and Marcel Proust. Akutsu has an exact intelligence that those writers I wrote above must have.

I'm exhausted... Today I worked early, and after coming back to my room, I slept soon. Just lay on the bed and slept... Although I had been invited to a piano concert by a blind pianist in Thailand, I just slept and couldn't stay long. I also couldn't read any books. It was because of summer? Or because of corona disease? Strange days go on but I read books. I also write my journal and do my work. I do what I should do however I feel as my feeling or mood. That is one of the ways I live my life I had learned from my work.

I started reading Shohei Ohoka's "Seijo Press". I borrowed this book from a library and I will buy it. I will live in my 50s, and I thought I would be like Ohoka who enjoyed music, movies, and literature with a keen curiosity. He also kept his modesty and gentleness, and he had been writing various masterpieces. I can see how my 50s would be but I feel that my future would be happier, not any depressive scenario. This is just a result of my effort, which I have tried to stop drinking alcohol and read various books.

I went to a library and borrowed Don Delillo's "Libra". Yes, life is limited and I can't read finite books. When I was young, I tried to read too many books. I will read this and that, and... now I can feel the pleasure of reading the books I have read again. How many times I would read Fernando Pessoa's "The Book of Disquiet"? Of course, I want to try Thomas Pynchon I have never read, but... I will give up on becoming any opinion leader or alpha blogger. I just stay as an amateur reader. I am such a small person, and that's my life.